When Growing Up Starts Feeling Kinda Lonely

Photo by Robert Katzki on Unsplash

So I was listening to “Dimensions” by Arcade Fire and Owen Pallett, and out of nowhere I opened WhatsApp status just for fun. Then I saw one of my college friends posting a picture with their neighbor who just got married. For some reason that small thing kinda hit me, and suddenly I felt like writing down whatever was in my head.

Back when I was a teenager, I had a lot of friends. Like, teenage me literally had no idea what loneliness was. My friend group was that big. If we hung out on a Saturday night, it looked like a whole squad going on some mission. It was chaotic in a fun way.

As I got older, that circle slowly got smaller. Everyone started chasing their own dreams and living their own lives. And I get it, that's just how life works, and I'm fine with that.

But lately I’ve been feeling like my circle is really tiny. Like it only fits two or three people tops. Sometimes I do feel a bit lonely when I remember how crowded my life used to be. But I guess those memories can stay as something sweet from the past.

These days, I focus more on my own stuff anyway. I don’t really need people to know when I’m sad or mad. I just deal with it by myself. And sometimes I find some random cool or super niche topic and get excited, but then I realize I don’t even know who to share it with anymore because I barely keep in touch with old friends.

Growing up feels kinda scary, to be honest. But yeah... what else can I do? Life keeps going whether I’m ready or not.